Uh oh, the Brabus W126 needs a new engine

Internationally renowned photographer Mark has been working with TG for many, many years. When he’s not taking pictures, he’s buying the wrong cars. Here he shares his addiction with the world…

“How long do you think the replacement engine was left idle?” I asked Andy Young of Spider’s Collection, hoping for something reassuring. He replied: “I’d say he left the factory in operation in the 1980s, but I’d be surprised if he moved this decade. To put that into perspective, two slugs came out to say hello while they were removing the exhaust manifolds…”

I’ve never met Andy in real life, and that’s probably a good thing considering the Brabus W126 was originally sent to his workshop for a quick service and valve clearance check. Both were completed very quickly. But what Andy didn’t expect was to undertake an entire engine conversion, which became apparent after the “slight touch” I mentioned wasn’t so much the valves as the engine oil…or rather the lack of it of this And the 5.5L M117.9 V8 had plenty of parts in its oil pan after driving a total of 13 miles in the two years I owned it.

Rebuilding it wasn’t really an option at this point. If it had worked well, a quick update would have made a lot of sense. But a cranking engine with a temperamental oil pump that could have caused a lot of oil starvation? This is not going to look pretty no matter how you approach it.

Like all broken cars I own, it’s important to look at the positives instead of forgetting the absolute rage. And, in the case of the Brabus, it should never have been equipped with the 5.5-liter V8 found in later 560 SEL models. Granted, this gave a bit more power, but the original pre-facelift W126 should have been fitted with the smaller 5.0-litre engine.

More importantly, whoever did this engine swap in the past managed to complete it with just two tools: an impact gun with a 12mm socket and a large hammer. I don’t know what the words for “fineness” and “care” are in the Belgian language, but neither was considered at any point in the process. The fact that it drove 13 miles without falling off is a testament to the power of an impact gun at its maximum setting.

Anyway, let’s keep things positive. Not only is the W126 on and off, but Project Voldemort aka the BMW M635 CSi is also making rapid progress. It’s called Voldemort because I refuse to acknowledge or talk about its very existence, something that Alan from CNC Motorsport is all too familiar with after I did a “bit of work” on him a few years ago.

I bought it as a cheap non-runner and managed to get it running (and MoT tested) without spending a full fortune on it. What I should have done at that point was sell it for a decent profit. But no, I took it to Alan initially for some wheels and center lock hubs. Which he quickly progressed to turning it into a sort of road-legal Group A M6, and that involved stripping it down to a bare shell before welding, repainting and refurbishing all the components before fitting a box group A security bit and various other bits.

But, if I had sold it, I would have just bought something worse and found myself in a similar situation just with a slightly different badge on the front. Both Andy and Alan have been legends while entertaining these builds and quite frankly, if it wasn’t for their patience and skill, I would have passed on long ago. Aim to have two cars (almost) running by 2023.