He feels that since we’ve been married for 26 years, he doesn’t need to “date” me anymore and that I can handle things myself. Of course I can handle things myself, but I got married to have a partner to walk through life by my side.
Please tell me, should a husband walk his wife from the car to the destination?
And he should also quickly dispel the idea that he shouldn’t treat you with respect, which is what “not dating you” really means. Miss Manners recommends that you have a stern talk with him about what it means to be a good partner. That is, if you want to keep yours.
Dear Miss Manners: What is the etiquette when it comes to eating candy or breath mints in public please? Is it rude not to share?
It’s okay if you do it discreetly. But you might want to consider the quality of your colleagues’ breath before making binding decisions about sharing.
Dear Miss Manners: My dad lives far away from me, and since he’s usually not around on my birthday, he gives me gifts in person or in the mail before the day arrives. I always thank him when I get the gift, then I put it away until my birthday. At that point, I open it and then call to thank him.
Dad is always surprised that I wait until my birthday to open the present, and he says he doesn’t mind if I open it the day I get it, like my brothers do. I believe (and have told him) that it is inappropriate and impolite to open a birthday present before the day itself, unless there is an urgent need.
Can Miss Manners resolve our disagreement? Who is right?
Once a gift is delivered to its recipient, it is entirely up to that person how and when to open it.
But just between us, Miss Manners agrees with you. Birthdays have a date for a reason, and if we’re all going to celebrate them when we want to or not, what’s the point of that date?
What differs with you, however, is in telling your father and siblings that they are rude for behaving otherwise. That, he’s afraid, is also up to them.
Miss Manners’ new columns are published Monday through Saturday washingtonpost.com/advice. You can submit questions to Miss Manners on her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
